Monday, December 26, 2011

Life's Statistics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Embassy

The US Embassy in the Philippines

This is a true story taken from one of the most read newspapers in the Philippines.

A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview.

The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him.

The Consul told the young man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.

"Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?"

The grandson translated

"Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon."

"He said he wants to see his children there."

Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.

The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can't his children just come and visit him here?"

The grandson translated this in Tagalog.

Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko. Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay."

(Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here. They've seen the Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die.")

The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any emotion, that he was rejecting the visa application "because the applicant was unable to speak any word of English."

"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles."

The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang sasabihin ko: "Putang ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag-Tagalog!?"

Translated, "He said: You son of a bitch, how come you are here... you do not know how to speak in Tagalog!?"

Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and approved lolo's visa application in pronto.

(Taken from The Philippine Star (a newspaper in the Philippines), written by Boo Chanco)

Go LoLo...mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Adele - how soothing your voice to my broken heart..

yesterday i bought two albums of Adele

a 2-set (CD and DVD) of her concert at Royal Albert Hall in London in September 22, 2011...the best gift for myself..

and her 21 album with live acoustic version of Turning Tables, Don't You Remember, Someone Like You

thank You Lord for everything

God is so good all the time

He will not give us trials that we cannot overcome

Never lose your faith in God

one more day and my Christmas novena would finally end

thank You Lord for waking me up every 3 o'clock in the morning

thank You

Doset Daram Hamishe Esghe Man (persian for I love you very much)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

2011 First day of misa de gallo

woke at 3am to attend the misa de gallo

nostalgic unlike the previous years

i've been crying every night just to be ok the next day

i don't wanna sacrifice the fate of my students so i give my very best to teach them

my heart is still bleeding

i wish i have total amnesia or i wish there is a pill to erase the memories of the past

God is good

despite what had happened

there's still good things that had happened

God used me to make him happy again after he broke up with his flight attendant girlfriend

and God used him to change me for good

that's life

i lost more than 2 years of my life

i spent it with someone whom i thought a persian prince in a fairy tale with they-lived-happily-ever-after ending

it hurts and the memory starts to recall

did i trusted too much??

he followed the advice of his friends

or maybe he is just too young to commit himself

i will be ok

i hope i'm gonna be ok..

thank You Lord for everything

thank You for giving me strength

i will never stop praying for him

he will always be in my heart

he will always be special

and when i die i will look back at this point in my life

that someone, somehow

made me feel his TRUE love (or is it really TRUE LOVE)..

thank you..

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Don't You Remember?

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any seams,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?
===================================

another song from Adele

everything happens for a reason..

Monday, December 12, 2011

Hiding My Heart Away

This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
who blew me away
blew me away
And its in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, you buried them away

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
you'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

Dropped you off at the train station
Put a kiss on top of your head
And watched you wave
And watched you wave
Then I went on home to my skyscrapers
Neon lights and waiting papers
That I call home
I call that home

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
Away, yeah

Woke up feeling heavy hearted
I'm going back to where I started
The morning rain
The morning rain
And though I wish that you were here
on that same old road that brought me here
It's calling me home
It's calling me home

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away
==================================
my favorite song from Adele


the original version by Brandi Carlile