Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Friday, January 5, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
The 5 Keys to Coping with Stress
By Jessica Cohen | June 1st, 2013 at 8:23 am
Yesterday the folks at Queendom.com released results of a study showing how happy people handle stressful situations. How do people who are genuinely happy cope with stressful times?
Okay, so you might be rolling your eyes right now, but bear with me. This, my friends, is fascinating.
Here’s why. Managing stress is not only important for our emotional health but it is vital for our physical health as well. During times of stress, any (or all) of the following may occur: increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, changes in breathing patterns, tense muscles, disrupted sleep patterns, weakened digestive system, and lower immune system resistance. The effects of stress can takes a serious toll on one’s health, so understanding resiliency and coping techniques might enable us to keep people not only happier, but physically healthier too.
So, why do happier people show more resilience in stressful times while others have more difficulty? The Queendom.com study looked at 1,434 people who are very happy with their life and found five common factors in coping with stress:
Techniques for Coping with Stress
Here are the five ways that happy people cope with stressful situations. Which one of these do you use?
Problem-Solving Technique
Happy people take active steps to discover the underlying cause of stress and find ways to either solve or improve their situation. They approach stress in a more systematic, practical way. (before sleeping, i tend to organize my thoughts and contemplate..i prioritize which should be tackled first..which is the most important..clear out your mind from any NEGATIVE thinking..always stay positive)
Positive Recognitive Structuring Technique
Happy people can look at a problem or source of stress from a different, more empowering angle. They find a silver lining to the issue or change the way they think about it. (the positive attitude, the positive thinking..trigger happy techniques - think of happy moments in the past that made you smile or happy or laugh..but stay positive and everything will be fine..eat your favorite food..food is the fastest way for your comfort)
Negotiation Technique
By compromising and negotiating, happy people can lessen their own aggravation levels. They are able to adjust their attitude or outlook in order to adapt to a stressful situation. (everything happens for a reason..i always mention the phrase "In Jesus name" or "Jesus save me" when I'm in a difficult situation and it never fails..compromise on issues but never compromise your principles..do what is right even if others were not looking)
Emotional Regulation Technique
Happy people recognize the need to calm themselves down before tackling a stressful situation. They look for a way to release excess energy in order to see the situation from a less emotional and more rational perspective. (I do confessional writing to calm myself - like talking to God by writing a letter e.g. Dear Father in heaven and then pouring out all what's inside in your mind.. Drinking teas and avoiding too much caffeine..less sugar also..eat healthy like buying assorted sliced fruits at the supermarket)
Distraction Technique
Along the lines of emotional regulation, some happy people distract themselves by socializing and enjoying themselves. This allows them to take their mind off of their stressful situation until they are emotionally ready to find a solution. (do the things that you really like (or love) such as watching a movie, eating your favorite comfort food, going out with your friends, play with your pets..remember always be happy..its your choice..and the universe will send you more happiness)
(source: http://www.babble.com/body-mind/the-5-keys-to-coping-with-stress/#next-slideshow)
Yesterday the folks at Queendom.com released results of a study showing how happy people handle stressful situations. How do people who are genuinely happy cope with stressful times?
Okay, so you might be rolling your eyes right now, but bear with me. This, my friends, is fascinating.
Here’s why. Managing stress is not only important for our emotional health but it is vital for our physical health as well. During times of stress, any (or all) of the following may occur: increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, changes in breathing patterns, tense muscles, disrupted sleep patterns, weakened digestive system, and lower immune system resistance. The effects of stress can takes a serious toll on one’s health, so understanding resiliency and coping techniques might enable us to keep people not only happier, but physically healthier too.
So, why do happier people show more resilience in stressful times while others have more difficulty? The Queendom.com study looked at 1,434 people who are very happy with their life and found five common factors in coping with stress:
Techniques for Coping with Stress
Here are the five ways that happy people cope with stressful situations. Which one of these do you use?
Problem-Solving Technique
Happy people take active steps to discover the underlying cause of stress and find ways to either solve or improve their situation. They approach stress in a more systematic, practical way. (before sleeping, i tend to organize my thoughts and contemplate..i prioritize which should be tackled first..which is the most important..clear out your mind from any NEGATIVE thinking..always stay positive)
Positive Recognitive Structuring Technique
Happy people can look at a problem or source of stress from a different, more empowering angle. They find a silver lining to the issue or change the way they think about it. (the positive attitude, the positive thinking..trigger happy techniques - think of happy moments in the past that made you smile or happy or laugh..but stay positive and everything will be fine..eat your favorite food..food is the fastest way for your comfort)
Negotiation Technique
By compromising and negotiating, happy people can lessen their own aggravation levels. They are able to adjust their attitude or outlook in order to adapt to a stressful situation. (everything happens for a reason..i always mention the phrase "In Jesus name" or "Jesus save me" when I'm in a difficult situation and it never fails..compromise on issues but never compromise your principles..do what is right even if others were not looking)
Emotional Regulation Technique
Happy people recognize the need to calm themselves down before tackling a stressful situation. They look for a way to release excess energy in order to see the situation from a less emotional and more rational perspective. (I do confessional writing to calm myself - like talking to God by writing a letter e.g. Dear Father in heaven and then pouring out all what's inside in your mind.. Drinking teas and avoiding too much caffeine..less sugar also..eat healthy like buying assorted sliced fruits at the supermarket)
Distraction Technique
Along the lines of emotional regulation, some happy people distract themselves by socializing and enjoying themselves. This allows them to take their mind off of their stressful situation until they are emotionally ready to find a solution. (do the things that you really like (or love) such as watching a movie, eating your favorite comfort food, going out with your friends, play with your pets..remember always be happy..its your choice..and the universe will send you more happiness)
(source: http://www.babble.com/body-mind/the-5-keys-to-coping-with-stress/#next-slideshow)
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Put the glass down..
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience.
As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question.
Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired:
“How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied,
“The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
She continued,
“The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses.
As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.
Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!
As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question.
Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired:
“How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied,
“The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
She continued,
“The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses.
As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.
Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Stop Being Too Hard On Yourself
By SC Chua for Yahoo! Southeast Asia
You never like what you see in the mirror. You are always telling yourself that you you're not good enough and that you shouldn't even bother. You get upset because you didn't go to the gym, ate that chocolate cake, and the list goes on.
Like it or not, we all have an inner critic who is the first one to put ourselves down and dish out the insults. "This is the voice of your Inner Mean Girl. She's negative. She's catty. She's judgmental. She compares your worst to everyone else's best," says Christine Arylo, author of Choosing ME before We and co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School (www.innermeangirl.com), a series of programs that give women tools to transform their self-sabotaging patterns into new self-empowering habits.
The problem when you pay too much attention to that voice? You restrict yourself from trying your best and instead stay stuck in status quo simply because you really believe that you are not good enough. "These negative voices slow you down, and make it way harder—sometimes impossible—to achieve the happiness and success we all deserve," says Amy Ahlers, author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves.
So how do you shush your Inner Mean Girl? Here are five things you can try.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
It won't help if you are keeping up with the Joneses because there will always be someone who is richer, skinnier, smarter, prettier and better. Comparing yourself to others is a sure killer to your self-esteem.
2. There is no such thing as perfect.
Why? Because it is an illusion your inner critic made up. The thing is nobody is perfect and nobody has it perfect as well. In some point of our lives, we are all struggling with something—whether it's in terms of financial, your career, your health, or your relationships. So learn to love your imperfections and bumps in life. Embrace and accept them, and if you want, let them motivate and inspire you to do better.
3. Prioritize and recognize what matters.
Is it really important that you wear branded clothes? Or that not a strand of hair is out of place all the time? We didn't think so. Neither does Catherine Birndorf, MD and co-author of The Nine Rooms of Happiness, who thinks that it is more important to focus on things that deserves priority in your life and not obsessing over the other little things that aren't as necessary. "It's important to recognize who you are, how you do things. Once you have this self-knowledge, you can start to determine where obsessing over details matters and where you can let it go," she says.
4. Stop saying negative things to yourself.
By saying it, you mean it. And by telling yourself that you're not good enough, you'll eventually come to mean it too! To stop pilling on the negatives, do as Arylo suggests. "List the word-for-word statements your Inner Mean Girl uses to get and keep you down and distracted. And then next to every one of her toxic statements, write a self-loving, self-empowering statement. Say these positive affirmations daily for 30 days and you'll make your inner wisdom's muscles stronger than your inner mean girl," she says.
5. Celebrate the small victories.
Small things do really matter, especially in the case of beating your inner critic. So with every achievement you've made—whether big or small—remember to give yourself a pat on the back as an acknowledgement.
http://ph.she.yahoo.com/blogs/self-and-style/stop-being-too-hard-yourself-080301229.html
You never like what you see in the mirror. You are always telling yourself that you you're not good enough and that you shouldn't even bother. You get upset because you didn't go to the gym, ate that chocolate cake, and the list goes on.
Like it or not, we all have an inner critic who is the first one to put ourselves down and dish out the insults. "This is the voice of your Inner Mean Girl. She's negative. She's catty. She's judgmental. She compares your worst to everyone else's best," says Christine Arylo, author of Choosing ME before We and co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School (www.innermeangirl.com), a series of programs that give women tools to transform their self-sabotaging patterns into new self-empowering habits.
The problem when you pay too much attention to that voice? You restrict yourself from trying your best and instead stay stuck in status quo simply because you really believe that you are not good enough. "These negative voices slow you down, and make it way harder—sometimes impossible—to achieve the happiness and success we all deserve," says Amy Ahlers, author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves.
So how do you shush your Inner Mean Girl? Here are five things you can try.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
It won't help if you are keeping up with the Joneses because there will always be someone who is richer, skinnier, smarter, prettier and better. Comparing yourself to others is a sure killer to your self-esteem.
2. There is no such thing as perfect.
Why? Because it is an illusion your inner critic made up. The thing is nobody is perfect and nobody has it perfect as well. In some point of our lives, we are all struggling with something—whether it's in terms of financial, your career, your health, or your relationships. So learn to love your imperfections and bumps in life. Embrace and accept them, and if you want, let them motivate and inspire you to do better.
3. Prioritize and recognize what matters.
Is it really important that you wear branded clothes? Or that not a strand of hair is out of place all the time? We didn't think so. Neither does Catherine Birndorf, MD and co-author of The Nine Rooms of Happiness, who thinks that it is more important to focus on things that deserves priority in your life and not obsessing over the other little things that aren't as necessary. "It's important to recognize who you are, how you do things. Once you have this self-knowledge, you can start to determine where obsessing over details matters and where you can let it go," she says.
4. Stop saying negative things to yourself.
By saying it, you mean it. And by telling yourself that you're not good enough, you'll eventually come to mean it too! To stop pilling on the negatives, do as Arylo suggests. "List the word-for-word statements your Inner Mean Girl uses to get and keep you down and distracted. And then next to every one of her toxic statements, write a self-loving, self-empowering statement. Say these positive affirmations daily for 30 days and you'll make your inner wisdom's muscles stronger than your inner mean girl," she says.
5. Celebrate the small victories.
Small things do really matter, especially in the case of beating your inner critic. So with every achievement you've made—whether big or small—remember to give yourself a pat on the back as an acknowledgement.
http://ph.she.yahoo.com/blogs/self-and-style/stop-being-too-hard-yourself-080301229.html
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Are you happy?
This is such a great diagram, it speaks nothing but the truth! You have two choices in life: Be Happy or Be Miserable. It's your outlook on life that will determine your happiness.
If you feel you are not happy, well, it's never too late to change or rearrange a few things in your life :-) That's the beauty of life itself, you can change it for the better.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=432617780115106&set=a.427522930624591.103943.395340760509475&type=1&theater
Monday, May 21, 2012
To learn
learn to forgive and to let go..
learn how to behave when you are in love and how to deal with a broken heart..
learn not to plant hatred in your heart as it would be difficult later on to undo it..
learn not to take revenge when you are push to your limits..
learn how to be happy no matter what happens..
learn when to say no when its enough as people were created with feelings not with a frozen heart..
learn to have the courage to stand with your beliefs, to compromise with issues and not your principles
and most of all
learn how to pursue your dreams, to master your fear
and soar high like an eagle..
- - Elmer Nagsagaray
=======================================================================
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
He then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
I wish you all enough...
learn how to behave when you are in love and how to deal with a broken heart..
learn not to plant hatred in your heart as it would be difficult later on to undo it..
learn not to take revenge when you are push to your limits..
learn how to be happy no matter what happens..
learn when to say no when its enough as people were created with feelings not with a frozen heart..
learn to have the courage to stand with your beliefs, to compromise with issues and not your principles
and most of all
learn how to pursue your dreams, to master your fear
and soar high like an eagle..
- - Elmer Nagsagaray
=======================================================================
and a post from a friend in facebook ernie roy a.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
He then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
I wish you all enough...
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Five Regrets of the Dying
By Bronnie WarePlatinum Quality Author
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.We cannot control the reactions of others. However, people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, but in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.We cannot control the reactions of others. However, people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, but in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.
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