By SC Chua for Yahoo! Southeast Asia
You never like what you see in the mirror. You are always telling yourself that you you're not good enough and that you shouldn't even bother. You get upset because you didn't go to the gym, ate that chocolate cake, and the list goes on.
Like it or not, we all have an inner critic who is the first one to put ourselves down and dish out the insults. "This is the voice of your Inner Mean Girl. She's negative. She's catty. She's judgmental. She compares your worst to everyone else's best," says Christine Arylo, author of Choosing ME before We and co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School (www.innermeangirl.com), a series of programs that give women tools to transform their self-sabotaging patterns into new self-empowering habits.
The problem when you pay too much attention to that voice? You restrict yourself from trying your best and instead stay stuck in status quo simply because you really believe that you are not good enough. "These negative voices slow you down, and make it way harder—sometimes impossible—to achieve the happiness and success we all deserve," says Amy Ahlers, author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves.
So how do you shush your Inner Mean Girl? Here are five things you can try.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
It won't help if you are keeping up with the Joneses because there will always be someone who is richer, skinnier, smarter, prettier and better. Comparing yourself to others is a sure killer to your self-esteem.
2. There is no such thing as perfect.
Why? Because it is an illusion your inner critic made up. The thing is nobody is perfect and nobody has it perfect as well. In some point of our lives, we are all struggling with something—whether it's in terms of financial, your career, your health, or your relationships. So learn to love your imperfections and bumps in life. Embrace and accept them, and if you want, let them motivate and inspire you to do better.
3. Prioritize and recognize what matters.
Is it really important that you wear branded clothes? Or that not a strand of hair is out of place all the time? We didn't think so. Neither does Catherine Birndorf, MD and co-author of The Nine Rooms of Happiness, who thinks that it is more important to focus on things that deserves priority in your life and not obsessing over the other little things that aren't as necessary. "It's important to recognize who you are, how you do things. Once you have this self-knowledge, you can start to determine where obsessing over details matters and where you can let it go," she says.
4. Stop saying negative things to yourself.
By saying it, you mean it. And by telling yourself that you're not good enough, you'll eventually come to mean it too! To stop pilling on the negatives, do as Arylo suggests. "List the word-for-word statements your Inner Mean Girl uses to get and keep you down and distracted. And then next to every one of her toxic statements, write a self-loving, self-empowering statement. Say these positive affirmations daily for 30 days and you'll make your inner wisdom's muscles stronger than your inner mean girl," she says.
5. Celebrate the small victories.
Small things do really matter, especially in the case of beating your inner critic. So with every achievement you've made—whether big or small—remember to give yourself a pat on the back as an acknowledgement.
http://ph.she.yahoo.com/blogs/self-and-style/stop-being-too-hard-yourself-080301229.html
Friday, August 24, 2012
10 Simple Ways to Boost Kids' Self-Esteem
Self-confidence is important for all children. It's the foundation upon which they base their self-worth and decisions that will one day impact everything they do. As parents, we worry about instilling just the right amount of confidence in our kids so they'll grow up strong enough to resist peer pressure, yet humble enough that they're not cocky buttheads. It's a delicate balance, really. Here are 10 easy and effective ways to do that! - Lori Garcia
Show your pride
Take every opportunity to showcase your child's accomplishments. Whether it's artwork on the fridge or a trophy on a bookcase, allow your child to see how much their hard work and dedication matters. Dr. Sears recommends parents, "Discover [each accomplishment], encourage it, frame it, and display it."
Encourage your child's opinion
Your child's opinion - free from judgment - matters. Scholastic recommends involving your child in discussions about your household as well as current events. Confidence in sharing their opinion will encourage them to speak up for themselves and causes they believe in.
Improve your own self image
Our kids learn from example and if we're always down on ourselves, chances are they'll grow to mirror our negative behavior. According to Dr. Sears, "Children translate your unhappiness with yourself to mean unhappiness with them," and further suggests that older children feel responsible for their parents' happiness. Discover new ways to bring personal joy into your life and spread the happy!
Provide gentle nudging
Scholastic says that kids often need gentle nudging on tasks they're afraid of doing wrong. Patience and guidance go a long way in ensuring a child's success.
Give your child responsibilities
Ownership and pride go hand in hand. Dr. Sears says,"One of the main ways children develop self- confidence and internalize values is through helping maintain the family living area, inside and out. Giving children household duties helps them feel more valuable, besides channeling their energy into desirable behavior and teaching skills." Parents, make that list and get started!
Allow your child to problem solve
As parents, we're often too eager to solve our kids' problems. Scholastic recommends allowing our kids to practice problem solving outside of the school environment to better enable them to solve problems at school in the future. Facilitate problem solving discussions with your child and allow them to arrive at a solution.
Provide a sense of belonging
Your child holds an important place in your family, as well as your heart. According to WebMD, "A sense of belonging helps a child to participate in learning new things; learning makes a child feel confident in making contributions; making contributions helps secure a feeling of belonging. This cycle helps establish and strengthen a child's self-esteem." Take opportunities to remind your child of just how important they are to your family.
Encourage your child to try new things
Trying new things can be scary, especially for a child who fears doing things wrong. Scholastic reminds us that kids need to try all kinds of different things to build personal preferences and gain valuable experience. Encourage your child to try new things and support him when he does.
Watch those labels
Dr. Sears states, "Every child searches for an identity and, when found, clings to it like a trademark." So while your child may indeed be shy, asthmatic, or learning disabled, manage the condition and focus on creating esteem-building labels instead.
Praise effort
The most we can ever expect from our children is their personal best. According to Scholastic, kids who are complimented on their efforts are more likely to seek out challenging tasks.
http://ph.she.yahoo.com/photos/10-simple-ways-boost-kids-slideshow/
Show your pride
Take every opportunity to showcase your child's accomplishments. Whether it's artwork on the fridge or a trophy on a bookcase, allow your child to see how much their hard work and dedication matters. Dr. Sears recommends parents, "Discover [each accomplishment], encourage it, frame it, and display it."
Encourage your child's opinion
Your child's opinion - free from judgment - matters. Scholastic recommends involving your child in discussions about your household as well as current events. Confidence in sharing their opinion will encourage them to speak up for themselves and causes they believe in.
Improve your own self image
Our kids learn from example and if we're always down on ourselves, chances are they'll grow to mirror our negative behavior. According to Dr. Sears, "Children translate your unhappiness with yourself to mean unhappiness with them," and further suggests that older children feel responsible for their parents' happiness. Discover new ways to bring personal joy into your life and spread the happy!
Provide gentle nudging
Scholastic says that kids often need gentle nudging on tasks they're afraid of doing wrong. Patience and guidance go a long way in ensuring a child's success.
Give your child responsibilities
Ownership and pride go hand in hand. Dr. Sears says,"One of the main ways children develop self- confidence and internalize values is through helping maintain the family living area, inside and out. Giving children household duties helps them feel more valuable, besides channeling their energy into desirable behavior and teaching skills." Parents, make that list and get started!
Allow your child to problem solve
As parents, we're often too eager to solve our kids' problems. Scholastic recommends allowing our kids to practice problem solving outside of the school environment to better enable them to solve problems at school in the future. Facilitate problem solving discussions with your child and allow them to arrive at a solution.
Provide a sense of belonging
Your child holds an important place in your family, as well as your heart. According to WebMD, "A sense of belonging helps a child to participate in learning new things; learning makes a child feel confident in making contributions; making contributions helps secure a feeling of belonging. This cycle helps establish and strengthen a child's self-esteem." Take opportunities to remind your child of just how important they are to your family.
Encourage your child to try new things
Trying new things can be scary, especially for a child who fears doing things wrong. Scholastic reminds us that kids need to try all kinds of different things to build personal preferences and gain valuable experience. Encourage your child to try new things and support him when he does.
Watch those labels
Dr. Sears states, "Every child searches for an identity and, when found, clings to it like a trademark." So while your child may indeed be shy, asthmatic, or learning disabled, manage the condition and focus on creating esteem-building labels instead.
Praise effort
The most we can ever expect from our children is their personal best. According to Scholastic, kids who are complimented on their efforts are more likely to seek out challenging tasks.
http://ph.she.yahoo.com/photos/10-simple-ways-boost-kids-slideshow/
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Strong Woman Vs. Woman of Strength
Ⓐ❤ ❥ A strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape, but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.
Ⓑ❤ ❥ A strong woman isn't afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.
Ⓒ❤ ❥ A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her,
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.
Ⓓ❤ ❥ A strong woman walks sure footedly,
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.
Ⓔ❤ ❥ A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face,
but a woman of strength wears grace.
Ⓕ❤ ❥ A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey, but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.
Ⓑ❤ ❥ A strong woman isn't afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.
Ⓒ❤ ❥ A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her,
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.
Ⓓ❤ ❥ A strong woman walks sure footedly,
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.
Ⓔ❤ ❥ A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face,
but a woman of strength wears grace.
Ⓕ❤ ❥ A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey, but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Are you happy?
This is such a great diagram, it speaks nothing but the truth! You have two choices in life: Be Happy or Be Miserable. It's your outlook on life that will determine your happiness.
If you feel you are not happy, well, it's never too late to change or rearrange a few things in your life :-) That's the beauty of life itself, you can change it for the better.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=432617780115106&set=a.427522930624591.103943.395340760509475&type=1&theater
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Things to remember
Remember that your presence is a present to the world.
Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable creation.
Remember that your life can be what you want it to be.
Remember to take the days just one at a time.
Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.
Remember that you'll make it through whatever comes along.
Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.
Remember those dreams waiting to be realized.
Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Remember to always reach for the best that is within you.
Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
Remember not to take things too seriously.
Remember to laugh.
Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.
Remember that life's treasures are people, not things.
Remember that miracles can still happen so wait and watch...
Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable creation.
Remember that your life can be what you want it to be.
Remember to take the days just one at a time.
Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.
Remember that you'll make it through whatever comes along.
Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.
Remember those dreams waiting to be realized.
Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Remember to always reach for the best that is within you.
Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
Remember not to take things too seriously.
Remember to laugh.
Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.
Remember that life's treasures are people, not things.
Remember that miracles can still happen so wait and watch...
Love Hurts..
Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true.
Loneliness hurts.
Rejection hurts.
Losing someone hurts.
Envy hurts.
Everyone gets these things confused with love.
But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.
Loneliness hurts.
Rejection hurts.
Losing someone hurts.
Envy hurts.
Everyone gets these things confused with love.
But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Lyrics and Video: I'll Be There by Julie Anne San Jose
Song: I'll Be There
Artist: Julie Anne San Jose
OST - Lie To Me (Korean drama)
First time I laid my eyes on someone like you
I can't forget the hour, that moment with you
Then I have realized, love is growing deep inside
I feel the beating of my heart
Chorus:
Coz' every day, every night, I keep looking at the skies
And I'll pray that someday you will wake up in my arms
And love will never end
We belong together, always and forever
Call my name and I'll be there...
Spending my days and nights just thinking of you
How you make me wanna smile with the things that you do
When will I hear you say, love is coming on your way
And that you start to feel the same
Repeat Chorus
Chorus 2:
Coz' every day, every night, I keep looking at the skies
And I'll pray that someday you will wake up in my arms
Coz' every day, every night, I keep looking at the skies
And I'll pray that someday you will wake up in my arms
And love will never end
We belong together, always and forever
Call my name and I'll be there
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Five Minute Management Course
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2: (omitted intentionally)
......
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2: (omitted intentionally)
......
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Friday, July 13, 2012
On long distance relationship
Advice on long distance relationships
Question: Do you believe in long distance relationships?
personally depende sa karanasan ng isang tao
mahirap dalhin at panatilihin ang pagtitinginan at pagmamahalan ng isang long distance relationship
kesehodang araw araw kayo nagchachat or video chat or nagtatawagan
kahit pa sabihin nating may full commitment
kung walang INTIMACY
lahat maglalaho na parang isang iglap
marupok ang isang tao
lalo na pag tawag ng laman
mahirap labanan ang tukso
minsan napapalingon sa iba kahit alam nating bawal
if we are mature enough and have grown in wisdom
siguro kaya nating pigilan ang tukso at di gawin ang bawal
pano nga ba naghihiwalay ang mga magkasintahan sa isang long distance relationship
dahil ba bata pa sila
dahil ba wala silang commitment sa isa't isa
o sadyang tinadhana na hinde sila para sa isa't isa
ang pangatlong dahilan ang syang pinakamasakit
lalo na kung binuo mo ang yung mga pangarap na umiikot sa kanya
lalo na kung binigay mo na ang lahat sa kanya
pati sakripisyo
minsan hinihiling pa ng isang tao na mainlove sa isang tao
o hilingin sa Diyos na ung natitipuhan ay yun na ang makakatuluyan
MALI po
dapat sana hilingin natin sa Diyos na yung TUNAY na karapat dapat ang makikilala natin at makatuluyan
hayaan lang natin ang panahon
kung anuman ang nangyari sa isang long distance relationship
hinde kaya dahil hinde sya karapat dapat sa atin
masakit pero dapat tanggapin
matagal pa bago mawala ang sakit
matagal tagal pa bago makalimutan ang mga alaala
but the scar will lasts for a lifetime..
Question: Do you believe in long distance relationships?
personally depende sa karanasan ng isang tao
mahirap dalhin at panatilihin ang pagtitinginan at pagmamahalan ng isang long distance relationship
kesehodang araw araw kayo nagchachat or video chat or nagtatawagan
kahit pa sabihin nating may full commitment
kung walang INTIMACY
lahat maglalaho na parang isang iglap
marupok ang isang tao
lalo na pag tawag ng laman
mahirap labanan ang tukso
minsan napapalingon sa iba kahit alam nating bawal
if we are mature enough and have grown in wisdom
siguro kaya nating pigilan ang tukso at di gawin ang bawal
pano nga ba naghihiwalay ang mga magkasintahan sa isang long distance relationship
dahil ba bata pa sila
dahil ba wala silang commitment sa isa't isa
o sadyang tinadhana na hinde sila para sa isa't isa
ang pangatlong dahilan ang syang pinakamasakit
lalo na kung binuo mo ang yung mga pangarap na umiikot sa kanya
lalo na kung binigay mo na ang lahat sa kanya
pati sakripisyo
minsan hinihiling pa ng isang tao na mainlove sa isang tao
o hilingin sa Diyos na ung natitipuhan ay yun na ang makakatuluyan
MALI po
dapat sana hilingin natin sa Diyos na yung TUNAY na karapat dapat ang makikilala natin at makatuluyan
hayaan lang natin ang panahon
kung anuman ang nangyari sa isang long distance relationship
hinde kaya dahil hinde sya karapat dapat sa atin
masakit pero dapat tanggapin
matagal pa bago mawala ang sakit
matagal tagal pa bago makalimutan ang mga alaala
but the scar will lasts for a lifetime..
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