Sunday, June 23, 2013

Lesson Learned


Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Which one are YOU?

Grandmother says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; "Which are you?"

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point,grandmother?"

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

~Author Unknown

The Real Robber

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank:

"Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.

This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her:

"Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional”

Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school):

"Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said:

"You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.”

Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly.

But the supervisor said to him:

"Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.”

Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.”

Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank.

The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million.

The robbers were very angry and complained:

"We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.”

Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Everybody is a genius


Types of Bisexual

Alternating Bisexuals – one relationship at a time, the first might be exclusively straight, the next exclusively gay and vice versa. Alternating Bisexuals are usually monogamous.

Circumstantial Bisexuals – primarily heterosexual but bisexual because of circumstances, eg; Prison where there are no women/men available.

Concurrent relationship Bisexuals – have a primary relationship with one gender, but may have multiple casual relationships with partners of the other gender.

Conditional Bisexuals – will switch sexuality for personal gain, eg: Gay for Pay.

Emotional Bisexuals – have intimate emotional relationships with both genders but only have sex with one gender.

Integrated Bisexuals – have two or more concurrent primary relationships one with a man one with a woman.

Exploratory Bisexuals – testing the water seeing if they like it.

Hedonistic Bisexuals -primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will switch purely for sexual pleasure.

Recreational Bisexuals – bi only when drunk or high. “Party Bisexual”.

Isolated Bisexuals – currently straight or gay/lesbian – but has had one off sexual encounter in the past which qualifies them as bisexual.

Latent Bisexuals – has strong yet so far unsatisfied urges to go the other way.

Motivational Bisexuals – will go bi to satisfy a partner, e.g. straight women agreeing to an MFF threesome.

Transitional Bisexuals – the only type of bisexuality the gay community understands, the one “going through a phase”.

The Religious Panda


Sunday, April 28, 2013

What did you do today that made you so happy?

There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer, and he started on his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.

He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Once again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted. They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, yet they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave. Before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own home a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy?” He replied, “I had lunch with God.” But before his mother could respond, he added, “You know what? She’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!”

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her neighbor was stunned by the look of peace on her face, andshe asked, “What did you do today that made you so happy?” She replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.” But before her neighbor responded, she added,

“You know, he’s much younger than I expected.”

Will someone see God in your smile or kind deeds? Maybe they’re not even looking for God, but may see Him in the kindness you show. Isn’t that what we’re here for? It might be a stranger, someone you work with, a family member or friend. Let them see God in you. Show His love in all you do today.”

Grandma is driving

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper..

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love,

Grandma

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Just hold my hand

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
‘Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.’

The little girl said, ‘No, Dad. You hold my hand.’

‘What’s the difference?’ Asked the puzzled father.

‘There’s a big difference,’ replied the little girl.

‘If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.’

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours…

This message is too short……but carries a lot of Feelings.

Put the glass down..

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience.

As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question.

Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired:

“How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied,

“The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued,

“The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses.

As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.

Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

PSYCHOLOGY ... and ... LAW!

A guy asked a girl in a library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you ?”

The girl replied with a loud voice:
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU !"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy, he was embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said: 
"I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right ?"

The guy responded with a loud voice :
$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH !

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy whispered in her ears;
"I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty.” :P

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Teamwork: Win as a team


What's best for us..

Mahilig sa pangangaso ang isang hari. mayron siyang isang kawal na labis niyang pinagkakatiwalaan. Isang kawal na laging nagsasabing:

"lahat ng plano ng Diyos ay may mabuting kahihinatnan. Siya ay mabuti."

nangaso sa kagubatan ang hari at ang kawal. umatake ang leon at sinuwag ang hari. napatay ng kawal ang leon ngunit naputol ang isang daliri ng hari.

Hari: kung mabuti ang Diyos, di dapat nangyari to! hindi sana nawala ang daliri ko!

Kawal: lahat ng plano ng Diyos ay may kahihinatnan.

nadismaya sa sagot ng kawal kaya siya ay pinaaresto at ikinulong.

mag isang nangaso ang hari at natagpuan siya ng isang tribo. ginawang bihag ang hari at iaalay sa kanilang altar. papatayin na nila sana ang hari ngunit nakita nilang kulang siya ng isang daliri kaya hindi maaaring gawing alay. siya ay pinakawalan.

pagdating sa palasyo, kinausap nya ang kawal na nakakulong at pinalaya.

Hari: tama ka, mabuti ang Diyos. hindi niya ako hinayaang mamatay sa kamay ng mga tribo. isang tanong ko lang, kung mabuti ang Diyos, bakit hinayaan Niya akong ikulong ka?

Kawal: lahat ng plano ng Diyos ay perpekto. kung kasama sana kitang nadakip ng isang tribo, nagsakripisyo sana akong ibuwis ang aking buhay dahil walang parteng kulang sa aking katawan.

*madalas tayong nagrereklamo sa hamon ng buhay. ngunit tandaan natin na lahat ng nangyayari ay may purpose.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Lord I Put All My Trust In You

Psalms 23(22):1-3a.3b-4.5.6.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

In verdant pastures he gives me repose;

Beside restful waters he leads me;

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me in right paths

Even though I walk in the dark valley

I fear no evil; for you are at my side

With your rod and your staff

That give me courage.

You spread the table before me

In the sight of my foes;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Only goodness and kindness follow me

All the days of my life;

And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD

For years to come.